Artemis Fowl (2020)

If you enjoy reading my Spoiler-Free reviews, please follow my blog @ https://www.msbreviews.com One of the most delayed movies ever, Artemis Fowl, went through severe production issues. Its plans started in 2001 (!), and only almost twenty years later it’s being released… in a streaming service. Several directors and writers passed through this project, but Kenneth Branagh, Conor McPherson, and Hamish McColl are the poor souls that decided to stick around. I’m not going to extend this review more than what it needs to. This is one of the worst films Disney has ever released, live-action o…

Gimly

1.0

Jun 19, 2020

I think that maybe if I had never read any of the Artemis Fowl books, then I would merely hate this movie. But I have read them, and that makes it even worse. There are multiple characters in this movie who are doing a bad Cookie Monster voice, and the character with the worst voice of them all (Josh Gagrid) is also the narrator somehow? A decision which was both 100% unnecessary and 1000% annoying. As I stated, I read the books, but I want to be clear that I don't believe this movie is just a bad adaptation of that series, it is, stand-alone, pure fucking nonsense. Nothing in this movie is…

In today’s lecture titled “When Disney Films Go Wrong,” I present “Artemis Fowl,” a wholly unredeemable mess of a movie from director Kenneth Branagh. The studio dumped this trash heap on Disney+, and even the home streaming platform is far more than it deserves. There’s very little magic in this CGI-heavy family film, and it’s more of a yawn-fest than the engrossing adventure it obviously aspired to be. Based on the first two books in author Eoin Colfer’s wildly popular children’s fantasy series, “Artemis Fowl” tells the ho-hum story of adolescent criminal genius Artemis (Ferdia Shaw), an…