The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

Walruse

2.0

Feb 5, 2018

Putting Roy on a space station might sound like a bad idea, but making this movie was even worse. The Cloverfield Paradox is a rushed copy/paste job with not enough time to glue the events together. A bit of Alien here, a splash of The Philadelphia Experiment there and a handful of other classic sci-fi flicks sprinkled on top. Oh, that bit in Evil Dead was funny, lets have some of that too! Wrap it up with a title that attracts the horror people too and it is time to cash in the mockbuster it is. Netflix. Don't go down this road. Let it end here.

It's fine sci-fi schlock. There's a likable cast, a few tense body horror moments, and an interesting idea with a disembodied arm. The mostly generic hodge podge of a script doesn't live up to the potential of the rest of the elements. However, the most glaring flaw is the B-plot, Earth scenes added thanks to test audiences, which doesn't have any bearing on the principal story that happens in space. Thanks, test audiences.

Like Prometheus in 2012, this was a serious disappointment. The characters' decisions are bizarre, motivations are unexplained. The science is bogus. The horror elements are not horrifying. The whole thing lacks style, originality, humour or any kind of spark. The movie fails to establish any meaningful personality for the crew members, so the only question becomes which one will die next. OK, there's one potentially interesting idea: have each character speak in their own national language (except the Brazilian guy: not sure why he doesn't get to?!) but the movie fails to take it anywhere…